going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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