At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
