I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
