Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
