He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
