Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
