at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
