tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
