ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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