My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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