Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
