when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
