Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
