Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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