We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
