Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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