I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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