so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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