it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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