Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
