I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
