I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
