and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
