there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
