How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
