Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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