Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You may now shotgun with the bride
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
