your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You work out of a Hotel?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't turn off my feet"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
