This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
