Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
