I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
