so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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