carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
