So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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