Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
