Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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