glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
