I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
