I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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