hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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