Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
