Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
