My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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