i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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