We're like a lot better than the average bears
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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