So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
