I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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