I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Apparently you make a good broom.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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