So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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