This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
