No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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